Hate Me

Hate Me

Hate me!
If that's the only way to get over me,
Take it!
Don't look back!
Because if you do,
You'll see me.
I'll still be standing here.
Too sure to move on.
So you have too.
We both know the deal
And you picked the best option,
On our once abundant table of choices.
Now, dusty and bleak, it erodes in the dark.
As did our other decisions.
I'm tired of always breaking your heart-
With loving words of sincerity;
With raw feelings unmatched by any other;
With the given sensations that seemed nothing but ethereal.
All misconstrued by your insecurities.
And my ego,
My ego never stays idle
When you come to me on your terms.
There's only but so much time
That my mind has,
Before it no longer enshrines
And wonders of your past.
It happened so many times before.
Leaving us oso sad.
Like you once had writ above your wrist.
I'm beginning to envision the "oso"
Invisibly dripping like a slit.
Yet, I keep still
Seeming as if I'm waiting for your return.
But I'm not.
Really, I'm not.
I'm just keeping that part of me alive.
Intricately, I keep record of my growth,
Through you.
Naturally allowing a bed for you,
Whenever you do,
Make your way, and
Come back.
So what do we do,
With these irregulars cycles of tainted love?
I want you to be happy
And there isn't much I can do-
I'm stuck in my ways.
But you figured it out-
Or, suitably put,
You figured a way out.
In order to move on
And not fall again,
And again..
You have to hate me!
More than you ever loved me!
Hate me baby.
Hate me!

~Brennan Brenoso

"PoetsTruMental"

All The Wrong Questions

All The Wrong Questions

With one lonely tear-

Purposely asking the wrong questions.

I just want to know how you are?

Along with the old people, places, and things in your life then?

How are you and them, now?

School, the family, the house, the crew;

I don't want the new.

Just give me what I knew.

Even though I know

If I ask the right questions,

I'll get the right answers.

But now,

I move around them like a timid dancer.

Still you hint that there is something unfamiliar to me

Something not from the past,

Someone..

But in those moments,

I run from- how's that for a conundrum?

I also wanted to tell you how I felt-

Being so distant-

But in that time we were apart,

I gravitated towards your existence.

I also wanted to tell you how I was wrong-

Being so persistent-

With my own selfishness.

Don't speak-Just listen.

I also wanted to tell you

Nothing is or was better-

Besides how I see you-

In that time you and I weren't together.

I really just wanted to tell that "I Love You"

And doing so,

I intendedly asked all the wrong questions.

Not to get your responses,

Just wanted you to listen.

And I ended up listening

To answers that had no life

The words that were missing.

My heart's

Death

Sentence..

~Brennan Brenoso

"PoetsTruMental"

My Obsession w/ Control

My Obsession w/ Control

I have an obsession,

With control.

It is sort of compulsive.

When reaching a tipping point,

I react in this order-

Composure takes over;

I collect my mental notions and emotions;

& suppression- Yes, I suppress them.

Only way not to explode-

Like I used too.

I want to be all out of bombs..

Because sometimes I didn't aim them..

I didn't even throw them..

This control,

I conditioned myself-

For myself.

Not meant for anyone else.

& I'll keep it like that.

This discipline is mines

& mine alone.

So be sure,

To control yours;

Don't open closed doors.

"PoetsTruMental"

After Thought

After Thought (03-02-07)

You gave life to the man within me.
I offered you the world and put my heart in your hands-
which brought a smile to your face
every time you did picture an “us”.
Our dialogues had a poetic sensation to them.
It brought us to the same plateau in so many ways-
I’m talking mentally, emotionally, and sensually uplifting.
I always knew what was in your heart-
a picture of me imprinted along the walls,
growing more deep-seated and detailed with every beat.
But your mind-
your mind was a more fragile place.
I never did entertain the idea of manipulating minds-
only the heart;
to me, it is a more genuine fixture
and I never did like impeding on thoughts.
I let your mind ponder its own path-
as I do every other.
Which I come to realize,
was my Achilles.
What was in your head intrigued me-
but I didn’t want to intrude.
Every day I wondered-
What was going on in there?
What thoughts did it encompass?
Being too careful has its faults.
See, the mind is intertwined with Love-
it is the equal to the Heart.
I call it Emotion’s Rationale.
Had I known this then,
I would have attempted to influence it-
With equal sincerity I did your Heart.
Because in your mind,
you did not see us together;
you had another vision for us.
Something you thought more everlasting-
Friends.
Even though I was ingrained in your heart,
I locked myself out of your mind.
Until this day,
I still wonder what was on your mind;
and why I was not included.
Now when I see you-
within another world
with another Heart in hand.
I see your thoughts through your eyes
and I hear it in your words.
I understand both levels of Love now-
I know I’m in your heart-
I know I’m in your mind-
But this time,
I am your After Thought.
The thought that was too late.

~Brennan Brenoso

"PoetsTruMental"

Heavy Heart

Heavy Heart

Your heart is heavy

But I'm not there.

I'm on your mind,

Stranded- rationally partitioned.

Thoughts of me flood through

But the lack of synapses worry me.

I don't give your body goosebumps like I used too.

And I apologized for all of the laws I've broken on your coronary

That has me exiled here in your mind like a prisoner.

Or are you the prisoner?

You never let me go.

I used to be the sole King of your heart.

As miniscule as you may make me seem now,

You're still my queen.

Always have been & you know it.

And every bone in my body is your peasant- at your beck and call.

Bowing in humility,

But craving your fertility.

Your heart is heavy.

Unbalanced and submerged in a lonely abyss.

We both know it's because I'm not there.

Allow me to send chills through your spine once more,

Massaging every cell on my way back to my rightful place-

Our rightful place.

I don't mind doing the rest of my time in your mind.

But just let me set your heavy heart

Back on an even keel.

It's the least I can do.

But I promise,

This time,

I'll do more.

~Brennan Brenoso

"PoetsTruMental"

Color of Life

Color of Life

To the thoughts unspoken,

Let them be hidden.

Behind all shades of gray.

By chance,

You'll learn that when life gives us color,

It's not necessarily the brightest place to rest.

Not knowing can be the touch we need in order to smile genuinely.

Kisses from reality aren't always pleasant,

Even when they're from the lips of the truth you seek.

As green as that shade of grey may seem,

Some will rather know life not aware of it's plight.

Birth and death are all

That's black and white.

~Brennan Brenoso

"PoetsTruMental"

I know you don't have it all together

I know you don't have it all together.

That's why I want to take you apart

& piece you back together

along with parts from myself,

letter for letter.

Still, you're just better,

than most women.

& the best for me, over them all.

"PoetsTruMental"

My True Dearest (03-17-05)

My True Dearest

In the midst of the sky
I feel your caring eyes
Watching over my soul.
I embrace them tenaciously
Within my Heart’s Hold.
You are my Keeper
That keeps me secure
Away from true sin.
I’ll appreciate your sanctuary
Until the Very End.
Although you have risen
Out of this Pretty Prison
You haven’t left me far behind.
I’ll be in your arms eternally,
It’s only a Matter of Time.
I’ll Love You throughout my Life.
If possible, even after my Death.
Only because of your sheerness.
I Love You Grandma
You are My True Dearest.

-Brennan Rosser

"PoetsTruMental"

Sonnetic Insanity (April 17, 2006)

"Sonnetic" Insanity

Sanity escapes the mind in due time-
Give it more and it might come back with haste-
Or it may never return back just fine-
The mind is a beautiful thing to waste.
You wonder what I mean as my pen scribes-
How images assault your very soul-
If I told you, it will be filled with lies-
You won’t understand, that’s just how life goes.
Observe the clouds smile as they dance high up-
Gaze at the oceans content trapped within-
Not once do they ever cry out enough-
Nor do you ever hear them complaining.
‘less you believe storms and waves as weeping,
Collect your mind for better safe keeping.

B. Rosser
April 17, 2006

"PoetsTruMental"

"W o r dP l a y" (4/20/06)

"Draw Ploy "W o r dP l a y" " "Pay World"

Ironic how I birth words

--Allowing your ears to eavesdrop thoughts in thin spurts of comprehension

Opening doors to intricate introverted depths

Burning sensation when little relations can be taking from the dirt

Digging dead carcasses rotten, right out of your mind

Picture painting elements elegant enough to elevate the dead senses

Bringing to life the living dead living within your own confine

Puzzle piecing at its highest peak

Stimulating the brain’s biology and new known ideas

Giving breaths to breach brinks of extraordinary keeps

Creating creatures of unknown niche

Inbreeding them with species even when they spurn

Allowing for the reproducion of original beings--

Words birth I, how ironic.

Brennan Rosser
4/20/06

"PoetsTruMental"

I Seek the Love

I Seek the Love

I seek the love where she knows me better than I understand myself.
The love in which I fear of a break up not only because I love her to death,
But because I'm scared to lose the huge part of me in her-
Not the time invested-
But the actual being of me attached to her and only lives because of her.

I seek the love that exist on its own accord.
There's life, diseases, careers, friends, days, nights, social injustices, catastrophes.
But on it's own inner-higher level, is our love.
The rest of the world can not phase it.
But the love we share makes this stuff worth living through it all.

I seek the love where if she doesn't call, my trust isn't compromised
In fact, it isn't even a thought- only concerns for her safety and if she is lost comes to mind.
I have no feelings of deceit in my emotional or mental repertoire.
And she doesn't worry about the human man I was born as,
She only possesses the abstract propensity of her perfect man demonstrated thus far.

I seek the love that breathes I love you's.
Even the shadow of what we have doesn't cast doubt.
The love that cures wars but because of the overflowing passion it harbors, has the potential to cause them as well.
The love that connects every star with traversable pathways if I am here and she happens to be on another planet.
The love that every writer, singer, artist, romantic and even time is waiting to experience.

I seek that love.

Brennan Brenoso/Oso©

"PoetsTruMental"

Lesson Earned From Lessons Learned

Lesson Earned From Lessons Learned (Learn From What You've Learned)

My life is like a war

And every battle within teaches a lesson.

The first battle told me,

Fight with all weapons-

From career, love, equality, to self-preservation-

Doesn't matter the front!

I have the skills and natural ability

To achieve what I want!

So I advanced forth by loving with my intelligence;

Moving with my strength;

Pushing with my agility;

And thinking with my heart & my length.

Luckily, life is just a game.

I died on all fronts at least once.

Change is dire to stay alive,

Opportunities won't come as often as I want.

Can't wait on the next battle to tell me,

I need be prepared and preemptive.

The lessons learned are being misinterpreted.

Somehow, I need to make sense of it.

My last battle was a gauntlet-

Foe after foe after foe-

And the lesson I learned was pretty clear,

Contend with all that I know.

[A moment of reflection]

What is it that I am comfortable using?

I fought with them all!

Then why am I losing?

Application is everything!

That's my personal lesson.

I'll be more selective when I fight the world,

With my natural given weapons.

But damn,

I'm still learning.

~Brennan Brenoso/Oso©

"For The Poet to be Understood, He Must Lose His Mind.. on Paper"

Strand of Hair

It was a night that he'd never forget…

The time was a little after midnight,
On the top level of a hotel suite in the heart of NYC.
Surrounded by just four walls
And one window that allows the Moon shone without interruption,
He peels the blanket off the bed
Just enough for him to get under.
The night is a loud one,
As it always is.
With his eyes to the ceiling,
His back on the mattress,
He dwells on where his life is.
Successful executive of a huge corporation
But no one to embrace during nights like these.
He glances to the lonely pillow beside him,
Furthermore digging himself a forlorn grave.
Fed up with his own thoughts,
He retires it for the night.
A skill he learned to do exactly for nights like these.
His eyes bear burden and grow tiresome.
Without a hint of being awake or in a state of dreams,
He rouses to a hand upon his abdomen.
Eyes still shut; he feels a woman caress him lovingly.
His eyes open to see a lady so beautiful,
Yet, so remote in recognition-
Blind Passion-
Her womanly fingers continue to move about.
Lost in the moment, his mouth finds hers.
Her lips press back delicately in return.
His left hand holds her chin stationary to his face,
His right hand plays about in her brunette-flavored hair.
The sheet sculpts their figure artistically as they move about.
With their breaths becoming heavier with the passing night,
She grabs his hand and slowly guides it down her abdomen.
His hand is then left to fend on its own when it reaches her pelvis.
Her moans are subtleties rich with depth.
Nails prick his back gently.
His grimaces are pain rich with pleasure.
The pillows under them are knocked to the floor
As they contort their bodies to a different position.
Her atop,
Him below.
Her hands lie upon his chest.
The sheets barely cover her rear.
Her back arches as he enters.
The moonlight illuminates her exclusively-
Moonlight Love-
Their bodies rock back and forth.
The momentum hums a sensual lullaby
And rocks them both to sleep.
He embraces her in his arms,
As she sleeps soundlessly on top of him.
His eyes bear burden and grow tiresome.
He rouses out of unconsciousness.
Alert to all of that has happened the previous night;
Or what he thought had occurred.
He feels for the lonely pillow.
It is what it is.
As is the pillow he laid upon.
Not on the floor where it fell the previous night;
Or what he thought had occurred.
He stares about the room.
Everything is in order.
Nothing is out of order.
The sun shone in his eyes from the only window in the room.
He lies back down,
Realizing he was fooled by his overly imaginative dream
Stemming from his late-night desires of a companion.
He glances again at the pillow beside him,
Studying it attentively.
A long Strand of Hair lies upon the pillow,
Brunette-flavored…

"Their eyes are more attracted to the story, Than they are to the man"

Understand That I'm Not There Right Now- I'm Here

in Unison: "Understand That I'm Not There Right Now- I'm Here"

Understand where we're at 
Before you insert me in your heart.
I was once a L♥ver unconditionally,
Always willing to try the experience.
But that is ancient history.
I'm not there right now,
I'm here,
Piecing essential parts together first.
So when I apply myself in your life,
Take it all in context.
I should be a separate entity from you
As you will be from me when you apply yourself.
We can complement one another gracefully-
Live, Laugh, L♥ve-
But not overstep boundaries
Such as being in L♥ve.
And this has to be understood and contently so.
Right now, I'm here.
Hopefully, you are where you need to be.
Intelligently shifting what needs be shifted.
I promise not to impede there...
...Unless you're done shifting and I'm done piecing
Parts that need be shifted.
Obviously the potential is evident-
Progress ensues from patience,
All from the Living, 
the Laughing
and the L♥ving.
Once we're ready,
We will be neither here nor there.
We will just be where this new journey takes us.

~Brennan Brenoso/ Oso©

"Their eyes are more attracted to the story, Than they are to the man"

Linkin Park- Leave Out all The Rest Lyrics

Just a type of way that I'm feeling right now.  And I could not have written it any better than this..

[Linkin Park- Leave Out all The Rest Lyrics]

I dreamed I was missing

You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

His Highs, His Lows, His Goodbyes

His Highs, His Lows, His Goodbyes

His Highs,
They were numerous-
Times when he was charismatic and
times when he was humorous.
They, were all beautiful.
In his eyes, every single time,
Everything was her.
The party was always for two,
No more, no less.
A celebration of new friends and new feelings and new futures-
And all highly gratifying for the time being.
But each time esoteric, like this very poem.
Respectively,
|She was his first love|
|She was playful and all too familiar|
|She was experienced & ready to love, while embarking
on the new journey|
|Him and her shared a season of foreverness|
|She sassed her way into his thoughts|
|Coming out of one, she was conveniently looking
for another heart to settle in|
|She had enough soul for the both of them|
|This one, was a beautiful poem definitely worth writing about|
They each took this man to his highest
and remnants still remain with him.
But lo & behold..

His Lows,
They were plenty-
Times when he was unsure and
times when he was empty.
They were all ugly times.
In his eyes, every single time, 
Everything was lost.
The parties never lasted long-
Stuck between more than friends
but less than lovers.
Until the ceremony either ceased 
or just became funerals-
All evoking emotional paralysis for the time being.
But each time esoteric, like this very poem.
Respectively,
|First are always filled with errors and insecurities.
So naturally, he reached a point where he could
no longer work to be happy|
|They were very similar but her playful
nature wanted to play a chase game. Too bad he did 
not understand the rules of it|
|Her experience surpassed him so his willingness to 
love never became and he ventured on his own|
|With her, it was just that! Her forever was only the
length of a season|
|Well, she never quite made it to his heart in that way|
|Heart jumping is never healthy. Eventually, the blood
on the shoes from the previous heart mixes with the new
one and he wanted fairly clean shoes|
|Her soul was deep and strong- deep enough for him to 
love and give her his all but strong enough for him not 
to get inside and take what he wanted-he wanted all of her|
|Simply, she wasn't just his poem. When he met her, she 
gradually came to life and she harbored a lifestyle foreign to his own writing|
Each of them brought this man to his lowest.
But lessons were learned and realized..

From his Goodbyes.

~Brennan Brenoso

"When I write, I take flight; I Feel Free When I'm Me"

As I lay my face in a bouquet on your grave

As I lay my face in a bouquet on your grave

As I lay my face in a bouquet on your grave,
In this rose petalled field, not a rose petal fell.
In a sad world filled with hate and fear,
Of all the blood shed spilled, not one drop of a tear.
Apathy prevails and sympathy recedes.
The last bottle of empathy will be empty when I leave.
My jaded heart bypasses corrupt minds.
But both, former and latter, will eventually ensue with time.
Because that is the common denominator-
The grasp of our dreams deferred and our briefness here is a bitterness stimulator.
The logic is to be adored- Our dreams are pleasantly detoured 
Via scenic route on the way to the steps of our door.
Plus we are affected by the effects of others' choices-tainted or pure-
And we are mandated to accept it all.
So I grieve, 
Knowing that this is all we have to believe.
You on the other hand, were allowed to leave.
Please tell me, is there more to be seen?

~Brennan Brenoso

"When I write, I take flight; I Feel Free When I'm Me"

My Laws From the Hill

My Laws From the Hill

Marching, Marching, Marching, Marching
To the top of a Hill,
I heard beautiful music.
The substance entered me 
While the falsity was diluted.
I used it,
Applied and supplied it to all my small fires.
It sing:
"Music is supposed to inspire"
And her words flew me higher.
This woman gave birth to a Man-
With no relation, just appreciation
For her message & her voice,
Which granted me levitation;
Elevation; a mentality exempt from gravitation.
In my eyes,
I'm her beautiful, beautiful Zion.
A product of her heart, 
And the backdrop to her mind.
Always Doo wopping,
Avoiding all girls looking for that thing,
that thing, that thingggg.
But showing maximum respect to the women's lives who has changed
As a result of the voice that loved to harmonized when she sing
Like Wooo... wooo... wooo....
Once too cool for school, 
But I was never miseducated.
Translated old scriptures
Found behind the perfect picture I took of the Hill.
And they still resonate heavy unto those with strong will.
It's like savoring a long sip of her Brown coffee
While she sings her song-
Killing me softly.
I learned not to succumb to the superficial minds
Who might win some.
But they just lost one.
Guided to a refuge by a Fugee.
My lovestoned struggles almost broke me.
Words tumbled down from the Hill
Telling me that everything was everything.
Almost like a pastor
Then I learned how to deal with my ex-factors.
Mother Nature,
I thank you-
Such a wonderful favor-
For creating a beautiful Hill with your passionate pen.
Although I'm still climbing,
She became my Law when I let her in.

~Brennan Brenoso

"When I write, I take flight; I Feel Free When I'm Me"

Aren't We All Just A Little Unsure

Aren't We All Just A Little Unsure

Tell Me What You Like.
If he is not Me,
Then I'll gladly step away.
-Well well, I am not him-
So I'll take my leave.
Don't say you accept me as I am,
Even with me not being your created man.
Because you built him up in your head,
So you should have him as.
I'm all for:
You can do anything and get whatever or whoever you put your mind too,
So I'm stepping away.
Don't pull me back for some insecure reason of not wanting to be alone
Or not wanting to hurt me!
Trust me, I'll be fine!
Make yourself strong enough never to settle for less than what you deserve;
Don't mind that you are who I thought up in my head as the one for me;
One day, the girl who created me and the girl I created will meet.
In due time, In due time..
Or maybe it is, that you don't exactly know what you like yet?
And this is all trial and error?
That is the human way, isn't it?
We're just uncertain.

~Brennan Brenoso

"When I write, I take flight; I Feel Free When I'm Me"

Stars In The Ground; People In The Sky

Stars In The Ground; People In The Sky

When will the stars burn out
And descend from the Sky
Into the pits of the ground?--
Idling Six-feet deep,
Away from those who gaze up
For Faith and Hope…

When will People rise up
And ascend from the ground
Into the summit of the sky?--
Idling billions of miles from earth,
Into the views of those who never gape down
To remind them that with People, it takes Hardwork and Determination.

Not Just Faith & Hope…

-Brennan Brenoso

"When I write, I take flight; I Feel Free When I'm Me"

There's Nothing There (Passion)

There's Nothing There (Passion)

But I can build passion.
I'll just draw it from what you want;
What you need.
I'll watch you stutter,
I'll hear you breathe.
I'll feel you up,
I'll lick you down.
I'll place my lips
All around.
I'll tell you to wrap your arms around me,
Let me feel your body.
I'll sense your eagerness
For a sensual orgasmic party.
Once I get inside of you,
You won't ever want me to leave.
Just rock your body slowly,
Let the sensation of the moment be.
Tell me when to speed it up,
Rough house beat it up,
While you're climaxing,
I'll use my tongue to clean it up.
Bite me on my bottom lip
When you desire more action.
You can ride on top
As you would a horse in playful fashion.
I'll let you mount me,
Count slow and grind to three.
Move your body barely
Now you stop and let me be.
I'll grab you by your waist,
Lift you up a little and start moving too-
Up & down,
Up & down,
Up & down,
'Til you cum down..
I'll let you lay there.
You're going to want to stay there.
There was nothing there,
Now we're bound by passion.

~Brennan Brenoso

"When I write, I take flight; I Feel Free When I'm Me"

If I Were Ever To..

If I Were Ever To..

She has to have the beauty of my imagination-
Eyes bright; not colored but with life.
Her kisses must excuse time (or at least be perceived as such),
Hold it in place until we pull away.
Her voice will be my anchor that keeps me grounded.
When she isn't near, I'll still hear her sound.
Temptation must test me every times she smiles.
I'm full of energy and she should be too, SO; she should be a nympho.
She will love my lust;
Also lust the need for my love.
Fashion to me is matching,
So she doesn't need the latest.
But all she wears will compliment her beautifully
And all she doesn't, those times, I will complement her incredibly.
She will know & appreciate my craft.
As a result of what we share, take the role as my biggest inspiration.
She must understand what "At Your Best" and "By Your Side" means to me..
If possible, sing them to me in times of need.
Priorities have to be in order-
Not a thing over me.
She'll learn my habits
Fathom my niche and be comfortable enough there to sleep.
She will go to all lengths to be sure that I'm satisfied.
Her actions will be reassuring; Her Love taboo.
She will experience every season from there on out, by my side.
Her presence will be my Winters; my Summers; my Springs; & my Falls.
And If I Were Ever To say I Love You,
I will be ready to reciprocate it all.

~Brennan Brenoso

"When I write, I take flight; I Feel Free When I'm Me"