Saturday, November 21, 2009

All The Wrong Questions

All The Wrong Questions

With one lonely tear-
Purposely asking the wrong questions.
I just want to know how you are?
Along with the old people, places, and things in your life then?
How are you and them, now?
School, the family, the house, the crew;
I don't want the new.
Just give me what I knew.
Even though I know
If I ask the right questions,
I'll get the right answers.
But now,
I move around them like a timid dancer.
Still you hint that there is something unfamiliar to me
Something not from the past,
Someone..
But in those moments,
I run from- how's that for a conundrum?
I also wanted to tell you how I felt-
Being so distant-
But in that time we were apart,
I gravitated towards your existence.
I also wanted to tell you how I was wrong-
Being so persistent-
With my own selfishness.
Don't speak-Just listen.
I also wanted to tell you
Nothing is or was better-
Besides how I see you-
In that time you and I weren't together.
I really just wanted to tell that "I Love You"
And doing so,
I intendedly asked all the wrong questions.
Not to get your responses,
Just wanted you to listen.
And I ended up listening
To answers that had no life
The words that were missing.
My heart's
Death
Sentence..

~Brennan Brenoso

"PoetsTruMental"

Friday, November 20, 2009

My Obsession w/ Control

My Obsession w/ Control

I have an obsession,
With control.
It is sort of compulsive.
When reaching a tipping point,
I react in this order-
Composure takes over;
I collect my mental notions and emotions;
& suppression- Yes, I suppress them.
Only way not to explode-
Like I used too.
I want to be all out of bombs..
Because sometimes I didn't aim them..
I didn't even throw them..


This control,
I conditioned myself-
For myself.
Not meant for anyone else.
& I'll keep it like that.
This discipline is mines
& mine alone.
So be sure,
To control yours;
Don't open closed doors.

"PoetsTruMental"

After Thought

After Thought (03-02-07)

You gave life to the man within me.
I offered you the world and put my heart in your hands-
which brought a smile to your face
every time you did picture an “us”.
Our dialogues had a poetic sensation to them.
It brought us to the same plateau in so many ways-
I’m talking mentally, emotionally, and sensually uplifting.
I always knew what was in your heart-
a picture of me imprinted along the walls,
growing more deep-seated and detailed with every beat.
But your mind-
your mind was a more fragile place.
I never did entertain the idea of manipulating minds-
only the heart;
to me, it is a more genuine fixture
and I never did like impeding on thoughts.
I let your mind ponder its own path-
as I do every other.
Which I come to realize,
was my Achilles.
What was in your head intrigued me-
but I didn’t want to intrude.
Every day I wondered-
What was going on in there?
What thoughts did it encompass?
Being too careful has its faults.
See, the mind is intertwined with Love-
it is the equal to the Heart.
I call it Emotion’s Rationale.
Had I known this then,
I would have attempted to influence it-
With equal sincerity I did your Heart.
Because in your mind,
you did not see us together;
you had another vision for us.
Something you thought more everlasting-
Friends.
Even though I was ingrained in your heart,
I locked myself out of your mind.
Until this day,
I still wonder what was on your mind;
and why I was not included.
Now when I see you-
within another world
with another Heart in hand.
I see your thoughts through your eyes
and I hear it in your words.
I understand both levels of Love now-
I know I’m in your heart-
I know I’m in your mind-
But this time,
I am your After Thought.
The thought that was too late.

~Brennan Brenoso

"PoetsTruMental"

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Heavy Heart

Heavy Heart

Your heart is heavy
But I'm not there.
I'm on your mind,
Stranded- rationally partitioned.
Thoughts of me flood through
But the lack of synapses worry me.
I don't give your body goosebumps like I used too.
And I apologized for all of the laws I've broken on your coronary
That has me exiled here in your mind like a prisoner.
Or are you the prisoner?
You never let me go.
I used to be the sole King of your heart.
As miniscule as you may make me seem now,
You're still my queen.
Always have been & you know it.
And every bone in my body is your peasant- at your beck and call.
Bowing in humility,
But craving your fertility.
Your heart is heavy.
Unbalanced and submerged in a lonely abyss.
We both know it's because I'm not there.
Allow me to send chills through your spine once more,
Massaging every cell on my way back to my rightful place-
Our rightful place.
I don't mind doing the rest of my time in your mind.
But just let me set your heavy heart
Back on an even keel.
It's the least I can do.
But I promise,
This time,
I'll do more.

~Brennan Brenoso

"PoetsTruMental"

Color of Life

Color of Life

To the thoughts unspoken,
Let them be hidden.
Behind all shades of gray.
By chance,
You'll learn that when life gives us color,
It's not necessarily the brightest place to rest.
Not knowing can be the touch we need in order to smile genuinely.
Kisses from reality aren't always pleasant,
Even when they're from the lips of the truth you seek.
As green as that shade of grey may seem,
Some will rather know life not aware of it's plight.
Birth and death are all
That's black and white.

~Brennan Brenoso

"PoetsTruMental"

Sunday, November 1, 2009

I know you don't have it all together

I know you don't have it all together.
That's why I want to take you apart
& piece you back together
along with parts from myself,
letter for letter.
Still, you're just better,
than most women.
& the best for me, over them all.

"PoetsTruMental"